Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

WCWS Game 1: Texas scores wild win over Texas Tech as Reese Atwood knocks in game-winning runs on failed intentional walk - Yahoo Sports

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

How does gut health affect mental well-being?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Was Daenerys' downfall inevitable after she left Meereen in Game of Thrones?

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Does the West have a defense against China's PL17 air-air missile?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

WWE Money in the Bank results: Powell's review of John Cena and Logan Paul vs. Jey Uso and Cody Rhodes, two MITB ladder matches, Lyra Valkyria vs. Becky Lynch for the Women's Intercontinental Title - Pro Wrestling Dot Net

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Why do people think Mirko is boring in My Hero Academia?

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Do you feel uncomfortable when you come across cross dressers?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Panthers' winning formula goes missing in Stanley Cup Final Game 1 loss to Oilers - NHL.com

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Why would calling me an incel help anything? How does that solve anything? Why can’t you actually be helpful and offer productive honest advice?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

How can you tell if someone is cunning?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Stopping alcoholism gets smarter with smartwatches - The Brighter Side of News

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have complete contempt for fakery

Why do Republicans only believe in two genders? How do they explain Caitlin Jenner and George Santos?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Europe will have to be more Tenacious to land its first rover on the moon - TechCrunch

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Junk Food Alert: Our Bodies Treat Ultra-Processed Foods Like Foreign Invaders! - Glass Almanac

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I see through liars

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I can read

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I actually pay taxes

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I can count

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says: